Can't Wait!

Hello? My god am I the only person that haven't watched SATC 2 Trailer??



Can't believe it has been 3 years since I last broke up and stayed in the room crying watching SATC Season 1-6 over and over and over again with a cup of milo and High-5 bread wtf. SATC has this awesome thing about it that can cure people with a broken heart. Really.

Pictures from Ages Ago.

I tried to copy out the photos from my camera to blog about the camping trip and I found photos all the way back from CNY! Can't believe in 3 months plus I only take so little photos and the SD is not full yet.

This was back in Jan (is CNY in Jan wtf?) on our annual visit to Sze Wei's place for some drinking & gambling night.


#1 The early birds.


#2 Group photo before we proceeded for 21pt gambling. I lost so I don't even want to talk about it wtf.


#3 Our boss sponsored all the liquor and food and soft drinks and shandy. Opened quite a lot of bottles though but then he's rich so it's all peanuts to him.

I remembered I took a lot of photos but don't know where did they go! Anyway I'm planning to buy a new camera maybe between Canon 550D or Olympus Pen. If you have either of this, please ping me when I'm online and let me know how is the camera okay coz I'm stingy like that and I don't want to spend so much money on something not worthy.

Oh speaking of spending money.

I said I wanted to buy an IPhone back in Jan. Then I kept saying my phone is still okay and have no excuse to buy a new phone. Then I lost my phone and I insisted on buying the phone and told everyone I wanted to buy and after 1 month I still haven't get any heh. Those people who didn't talk about buying all also buy liao wtf. Anyway my point is, I decided not to buy already lah coz USD rate dropped so much and I a bit sakit hati all my stocks...aih...

A blog really reflects how one is feeling. I don't cater to hundreds or thousands of reader so mostly everything I write is more personal. I write angry entries. I write emo entries. I don't know if you noticed but my happy entries are getting lesser and lesser. I find it really hard to come up with a decent entry, to pen down any nice things that are happening. I can, but that'd be lying.

Because I'm not alright. In fact, I'm far from being alright. I dropped by the florist and got myself african daisies because they have good memories and I really need all the colors I can have right now. But the stalks of gerbera I carefully placed beside my bed serve no purpose. I looked at them and I felt nothing. Nothing.

These days I feel nothing.

My days are so tough. I don't get through days anymore. They just passed. All I wanted to do is pull the curtains and lie in bed all day under the comforter. I don't want to wake up and get food because food gives me energy to get out of bed. And that is the definitely not what I want. I just want to lie there all day and think of nothing and do nothing. I don't want to open my eyes and see things I didn't wish to see. I don't want to hear anyone say things that could put me further into the dark.

As I grow older, I look at everything in a different light. Everything I used to think makes me happy..they don't anymore. I have a different perspectives on everything I have in my life right now. My career. My life goal. The place I stay. The food I eat. The things I do. The people I have.

Things changed.

One day I wake up to find myself unloved. Unloved in many different ways. I almost can feel like there's a stone stuck inside me and it's making me hard to breathe. At times I really forgot to breathe. And when I do realize I will take a reaaaally deep breath and my mind will zone out for a while. I miss the person I used to be. Really. I missed being ignorant. I missed being happy with every little things. I miss being elated over 1 ham chin peng.

I can lie to everybody. I can even lie to myself but I'm finding it really hard to even convince myself these days. I feel pathetic. I don't love myself. Nothing can be worse than one feeling like they're not worth a single cent. Nothing is worse than when one's self-confidence is stripped off. I am so belittled beyond words. When I look myself in the mirror I don't feel pretty anymore. I don't whip out my camera and cam whore shamelessly. I look at myself and I wish I am a little thinner, I wish my hair is a little more lustrous, I wish my eye bags are a little smaller, I wish I am a little fairer, I wish I am not where I am, I wish people close to me would give me a little more credit. I honestly don't think I am as bad as how they make me feel. I honestly think I have improved a lot over these years but it doesn't seem that way to me now. People close to me have no good words for me. Do you know how sad that is :( I have so many things to say but I don't know how to put them into words. I don' know how to stand up and defend myself. Each time I just sighed and let it go. I don't know what else I can say to make my point or how I can to send the message across at all.

So yes, life is tough on me right now.

I'll be fine because I'm trying hard to make a change. I am confident I can lift myself up again because nobody else would. I've always been alone all this while so I'm pretty sure this time I'll do just fine too. I don't want to just blame god or blame the luck because this has absolutely nothing to do with either of that. Everything I have right now is a choice I made before so I'm going to stick with it, live with it, find ways to do better with it. I could have just pack my bags and leave like how I always do, avoiding problems, but I think I'm old enough to just face things like a real woman!

I will be better in no time. I am sure I will. *chants to self. Joe told me: 不完美才有进步的空间。Well I guess that'll do for now.

Dammit, mid-life crisis come a little too soon.

Damsel In Distress

Instantly lifts up the atmosphere of a lifeless cold 4-walled room.

Legal for Genting!

I was in Genting last weekend for Jasmyn's 21st birthday. No photos at all of us because we spent all our time in the casino celebrating her legal 'freedom' to gamble. The guards there are really smart okay they really stopped her and asked for identification. I tried to walk VERY SLOW also the guards didn't want to stop me. FML.


#1 Checked into First World Hotel for RM105 per night on shoulder season. I really dislike First World. It always give me this creepy feeling that the room is very...erm...haunted coz last time there's so many rumors about corpses found under bed and stuff. But what to do, the room's too cheap. If I have a choice I prolly would go for Theme Park Hotel or Resort Hotel. The rooms are generally bigger and more comfy.StevenFoong got his room free though because he has 20 Genting Pts and that equals to 1 free night.


#2 It was raining earlier that night so it was quite foggy but not too windy. Not too cold =( Not too awesome. I love the feeling of sipping hot chocolate and eating dessert, sitting outside the cafe in the cold weather. Don't we all?

We were in casino the whole night until 4 in the morning. As usual, I was at the Casino War table because that's the only thing I know how to play. There's no way you don't know how to play Casino Way unless you're dumb because the dealer has 1 card and you have 1 card and see who bigger only. See! So easy.

So easy to lose also. I told myself that I will take RM500 out to play that night but when I lose RM200 I became really stingy and stopped playing. Not willing to lose out another 300 wtf.


#3 Free hotel breakfast until 10.30am only so I had to get up at 9. Was thinking the whole time whether I should go for the breakfast coz I can feel the headache coming but went anyhow since Tat & LaiYin are up already.

After breakfast we went back in the casino and continued our luck. I managed to get back my RM200 after a few hours and stopped playing. The rest of the guys continued all the way until almost 4 in the evening.

Left casino at 4pm for some fresh air. By that time my head felt like it's going to explode already. Bought panadols from the convenience store and kept drinking like 10 litres of water. I felt so sick that I could barely walk and my head is spinning like a rollercoaster and adding up to my usual car sickness when we go downhill. Stopped halfway and vomited but nothing much to vomit coz I didn't eat lunch and breakfast was 5 hours ago, digest already la.


#4 This is what I'm taking for motion sickness. It doesn't work all the time. It won't cause much drowsiness which is what I don't want. I need to feel drowsy so I can sleep the whole journey! Anyway You can get this over any pharmaceutical counters.

I don't think anyone who is not car sick can understand how it feels like to be one. The headache and that sick feeling in your tummy is VERY unbearable. Trust me. I am car sick since like forever, since I was born and everytime I travel I had to depend on the motion sickness pill. Sigh. I wonder if people actually recover from it.

One Of My Usual Unfortunate Events.

I usually take Transnasional from KL back to PG because I don't have to go to Pudu. I hate Pudu. I used to have nightmares about people getting raped and killed in Pudu. Transnasional has another counter in Hentian Duta which is a much smaller station so it's less packed.



Hentian Duta is only a stone's throw away from Stadium Duta and the roundabout to Segambut.

I forgot to buy my ticket from KL->PG for the past weekend. By the time I got there on Sunday noon, Transnasional 5.30pm bus is all sold out and the next one is at 11pm which is too late for me.

Then there's those counters there selling tickets. These counters don't own any buses. They sell tickets to different different bus companies. So when you buy ticket from them you actually have no idea what bus you will take until when the time comes.

I have no choice but to grab the 5pm ticket from them. When I reach there at 5pm, I showed the counter my ticket and the lady there took my ticket and showed me to the bus parked next to the counter and say NAIK SEKARANG. I asked which seat and she say FREE SEATING.


Credit: jomnaikbas.wordpress.com

Turns out it's Mayang Sari I took. The bus is sickeningly slow.

And the worst part is, at 11pm, I realized that the bus has passed Butterworth and doesn't look like it has intention to head to the bridge.

So I went to the front

'Bang, bus ini tak stop kat Penang ke?'
'Stop kat Penang?? *disgusted face. Bus ini ke Sungai Petani!'

WTF

After further asking and complaining

'Kaunter semua itu tak ada kaitan dengan bus driver. Kaunter-kaunter itu semua mau habis jual tiket dia saje dia tak kisah pun mana kau nak pergi. You kena tipu dah lah nie'

YES THANKS DRIVER FOR TELLING ME I KENA TIPU AT THIS POINT.

'Okay moi saya letak awak kat tepi bus stop sana you sendiri cuba naik teksi ke apa la balik Butterworth'

ERRR..IT'S 11.30PM AT THAT TIME. CAN U NOT THROW ME AT THE ROAD SIDE?

Then there's another malay man passenger pity me or what. He helped me negotiate with the drivers (2 drivers) .

'Kesian dia lah encik. Seorang perempuan nie bukan lelaki. dah kena tipu nie lewat malam macam mana nak balik butterworth'

YAH NOW U ALL REALIZE I AM A PEREMPUAN RIGHT.

So after much negotiation

'Ok kita nie memang tak akan balik ke Butterworth. Apa yang saya boleh buat. hantar semua passenger ni ke Sungai Petani. Lepas tu saya tolong amoi tengok ada bus sana balik ke Butterworth yang boleh kau tumpang tak'

Well. Not like I have a choice so I went through with the 'plan'.

Reached Sungai Petani at 12 midnight. The driver dropped all the rest of the passengers at the roadside (apparently not at the bus station) and then the driver ushered me to the road side and then he just stop all the passing buses and asked whether they go to Butterworth. -_-"

Turns out one of the Indian buses is heading to Butterworth so the driver shooed me up. THere's only less than 5 people in the bus and they're all... Indians.

I finally reached Butterworth at 12 plus and used whatever remaining phone battery I have left and called....the savior Kevin Leong to pick me up and he drove me back to PG.

I only got home at 1 something. A total of 8 hours plus on the road. FML. I wish I can go back to the counter and burn them down.

So, NEVER EVER BUY YOUR BUS TICKETS FROM THOSE COUNTERS THAT DON'T OWN BUSES. IF U HAVE NO CHOICE THEN MAKE SURE U ASK THE BUS DRIVER WHERE THE BUS IS GOING.

Oh the most fucked up thing is..the driver say to me 'Lain kali beli Transnasional' *faint

Sunshine Market Yau Char Kwai

The other day I went at 6pm and Yau Char Kwai is sold out. Today I purposely go at 5pm wahahaha.



Verdict: Don't ever buy Yau Char Kwai from Sunshine market anymore because it's horrible.

It didn't even SMELL like YCK and it only tastes like COOKING OIL which has been used for 34834573475623432 times. It's crunchy but for the wrong reason. It's so bad that I got really turned off and I don't think I want to eat YCK for next 1 month =(