When I see you the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The World just stops, and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you. Just you, and my eyes staring at you. When you're gone, the World starts again, and I don't like it as much. I can live in it, but I don't like it. I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It's the best fucking thing I've ever known or ever felt, the best thing, and that, is why I stare at you.



I wore the shirt the boy bought for me from Vietnam out to the city today and baby, I swear the whole is looking at me like I'm a weird creature haha.

I don't know how to start telling you.

Because I know even I tell you, you won't believe me! Unless you see it for yourselves, it's really quite unbelievable. But I'm going to tell you anyway. That's the whole point of starting this post anyway.

Wtf. Did I just write so much but actually haven't started telling anything?

ANYWAY

It all started 1 week ago.


1. My room air-cond has been dripping water. It started with individual drops like maybe 5 seconds in between drops from the front opening of the air-cond. Then after 4 or 5 days, it started to POUR. As in the water came out continuously from the opening as though it's a PIPE! I on it anyway and put a bucket below it. I informed my owner to fix it too.

2. 3 days ago, my room lights kept blinking. It blinks and blinks and blinks. Like the ghost movie, only without the ghost. Everytime the lights blink, my home PC restart by itself. It restarted by itself for ~10 times in 1 night.

3. 2 days ago in the morning, I tried to start my computer. BUT THERE'S NO RESPONSE. I changed plug. still no response. No matter what I do, there's no response. The PC has officially died. maybe due to the continuous restarting and the electric rush everytime the light blinks. I thought my home PC is the culprit that makes my lights blink and the electric shock. So i unplugged my home PC.

4. 2 days ago in the evening, I came home to find my car park card not working. The security guard informed me that they blocked my card because the owner did not pay the management fees.

5. 2 days ago at night, the lights kept blinking even with the UNPLUGGED home PC. so it's very obvious that home PC is not the culprit. Everytime it blinks, my router went down. And I have to restart the router to have connection. I also on the air-cond because the weather is terrible!

6. 2 days ago at midnight, I woke up because it's VERY HOT. I then realize the air-cond is switched off. I tried to turn it on with remote but nothing happens. My air-cond has officially died.

6. 1 day ago in the morning, I tried to get online with my laptop. No connection. I checked. My router died.

7. 1 day ago in the morning, I drove to work to realize my car tyre punctured in front of the traffic light in Sunshine Square.

8. 1 day ago in the afternoon, I realized my air-cond and router died because the power switch for both of these items have tripped off. I turned it on. Router and air-cond works again. After 1 minute, it tripped off. I didn't try turning it on afterwards.

9. 1 day ago in the evening, I went to service center to be told there're 2 nails in my tyre and they can't patch it because the tyre has CRACKED. They asked me to come back in the morning to change a brand new tyre.

10. This morning, I went to service center to be told my front tyre has worn out and have to be replaced too. I was also told my v-belt, timing belt, air-cond filter has broken and needs to be replaced. I was also told the whole service will cost me RM800.

11. This morning, I passed the car key to the service center lady. She missed it. The key dropped on the floor. My remote broken into pieces. They told me it takes RM9 to fix that.

12. THis afternoon, the service center manager called me to apologize. Her workers "accidentally" scratched my car and they have to respray it. I can only take the car 2 days after.

13. This evening, I went home to realize my house key is attached to my car key which is at the service center. I can't go in the house and have to wait for my housemate to get off work.

14. This evening, I took my spare key and handphone and walked opposite my apartment looking for electrician and anyone who can fix my electricity and air-cond. The shop owner called the electrician. After 15 missed calls, they told me to go home first and they will call me back.

15. This evening, I get out of the electric shop to find it raining heavily. I ran all the way across the street back to my apartment, DRENCHED. 10 minutes ago, it wasn't even dripping.

16. This evening, the electrician call me back. He is trapped in town and won't be able to make it tonight or tomorrow morning. Earliest is tomorrow afternoon.


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At point #4 I was upset and frustrated and angry.

At point #10 I was fairly okay because the boy sent me a MMS of him eating nasi lemak with the msg "I wish you're here to share this with me. I love you."

At point #12 I was happy because the boy told me to think the other way round and how lucky I am to get a free spray.

At point #14 I am totally fine already and started to find my bad luck very funny.

At point #16 I am in a superbly good mood because the boy called me all the way from Vietnam with his hp (even though it is freaking expensive) to ask me how I'm doing and to tell me his business deal went well and he hoped he could give me some of his luck.

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Every now and then, shit happens to me. I may just be the unluckiest girl you'd ever know. The last time the series of unfortunate events was 1 year ago that included 2 spoilt hard disks (millions of lost data and photo) and a spoilt ipod and 2374623465234 small unfortunate things.

I survived.

My friends say I might be a mutant. I just didn't know how to control my power now.

I learnt how to deal with every single shit that comes to me. I was angry and frustrated and take it out at the boy at first. But he still continued to take me through all the shit.

So baby, if you're reading this, I really really love you. I don't know what bad luck I would be in tomorrow but I don't care. BRING IT ON!

不是怎样"训练"男友怎么对自己很好
或希望得到什么又什么的
而是无论有没有得到想要的对待
都要一直坚持那份爱。

Maybe I’ll sleep at the station because there’s nothing to go home to but an empty fridge and some stale mayonnaise. And maybe I'll make friends with the guys sleeping under cardboard boxes and newspapers and we’ll discuss what it means to love and to live. And maybe I’ll wander the city, like one lost and lonely particle in a dust storm of Tuesdays, late nights and overdue homework. And maybe I’ll get on a plane or a ship and get lost in places I’ve never been lost in before. Or you know, maybe… just maybe, I’ll keep my phone on me in case you call. And tell me there’s something to come home to.