I haven't been feeling much excitement towards anything. And whilst I tried, I didn't feel the least bit of kick from anything. I fell asleep a while ago. When I startled awake after only merely 30 minutes of some awesome dream, I felt that ache, because of how mundane I felt things in my real life are right now. I wish there's a sweet surprise hiding at the corner making me smile.

On Being Contented

I think I'm really easily contented. A very simple meal of Roti Telur and teh tarik makes me very happy.  A small cosy eat and talk with a couple of friends on Saturday night makes me very happy. One episode of Modern Family makes me laugh till I teared. A simple quiet moment together listening to a song on repeat makes me very happy. A sincere 'Hallo how are you doing' from friends makes me very happy. A surprising chat with a stranger makes me very happy. A simple handwritten note makes me very happy. A trip away with family makes me very happy.

I don't own anything. I don't own a lot of money.
But I'm happy.

Happiness

It's probably only close to 5 degrees. Every now and then, he will reach over in the middle of the night to make sure my feet is safely tucked under the blanket. He didn't know but I'm awake and my heart jumps each time he does that. I want to live in that moment forever. I feel so at peace, warm and extremely contented. The feeling is truly irreplaceable. And I woke up, but I try to hold on to that feeling as long as I can.

It's been a while. I just want to share this feeling with you all because it all feels so nostalgic.

It's that simple. Happiness can be very simple.

Dream Analysis

I don't event know what to say.

My usual nightmares include getting trapped in Jurassic Park with T-Rex (understandable since I watch too much Jurassic Park for my own good), getting hunted down in the jungle, falling off the bicycle (happens to a lot of people I think).

Yesterday..

Yesterday was a completely different dream altogether. And it was my first.

I was with a bunch of people. A huge bunch, in fact, that we occupied 2 large round tables. We were having lunch or dinner (not sure) but it was evening and it was outdoor. Both tables are right beside an old building. Tables are covered with red plastic disposable covers.

Out of a sudden, everyone stood up and looked up towards the building. It was a rundown building with lots of windows without grills. It was almost like a half done old construction site building. Windows are huge and tall. I can't see anything inside. It was pitch dark.

Then I realized what happened. A girl was standing at the window and she jumped down. It happened so fast but still, I can see her face. Clearly. She has short hair with bangs. She's thin.

She jumped off the building and landed on the table beside mine. It was a really loud thump, and she sprung up then landed face down on the table again. Everything was thrown off the table because of the huge impact.

..

All of a sudden I jolted awake. I looked around the room.

Nothing. It was still early and dark outside.

I tried to google what does it mean to have dreamt of girl jumping off a building but I couldn't find any. Most dream analysis are about themselves jumping off the building (suicidal) but none is about seeing OTHER people jump off the building.

Please let it be a dreamless sleep tonight!

Bitter Heart.

Having a boyfriend who lives in KL means traveling is such a big part of my life. Almost every 2 weekends I have to pack and either rush to the airport or to the bus station to catch the next earliest plane/bus to see the other half.

As I have flown countless times, I do not bother to look out the airplane window. What is there to see? It's the same night view on replay every 2 weeks.

Today, after the boy and I went to separate gates for my flight back to SG and his to Melbourne, I cried till my eyeballs pop out. When I got on the plane I grabbed the magazine and tried to distract myself. It doesn't help that the in flight entertainment is playing Demi Lovato's Skyscraper. What an emo song! As the airplane take off, I put down the magazine and gaze out on the night view of the city I'm leaving behind.

Mesmerizing city lights.



Thank you KL. Thank you for giving me great memories from all the weekends I spent there the last 3 years.