Joan's Permanent Diaries

What's wrong with me? I just wrote a long entry and decided not to post it. I think I have some issues with being personal nowadays. Long gone are the days I can just rant about work or vent about boyfriend or curse people I despise.

For my anniversary last year, I printed out photos and did a month to month album documenting travels and stuffs with exact dates. I can do that because I blog about almost everything with dates! I can easily browse through my archive to get all these information. This year, I can't. I can't because I have not taken any photos of myself much. And I didnt blog about most of the things I did. No dates. Nothing. I can't come up with anything.

This is my life diary. But the older I get the more I worry how people would judge me from what I write.

But it's really contradicting. You would think what an emo I am right now. But truth is I've never been more excited about life than I am right now. Sometimes I cant wait for tomorrow to come because of what I planned for it. Problem is I'm not comfortable sharing them anymore. I do have a lot in my mind too. Life stress. Like because I'm 28 right now I need to move on to another stage in my life.

As I was tossing and turning around on my bed yesterday night, I realized that I've tried to pursue for the next stage of my life, a bit too hard that, I lost interest. It's scary to finally realize, I do not want it anymore.