Let's say you have A. You know of B's existence, and at one time you had the chance to have B but you didn't want to.

Then after what seems like forever, someone offered you B. You're thinking B is not what you want, but this time you wanted to go try to get B anyway, for whatever reasons. You're thinking no harm done since if you get it, it's a bonus and if you didn't then whatever la.

In the end, you didn't get B. And you felt......down and upset and disappointed. But why do you feel upset when you didn't even wanted it in the first place?

Sometimes I confuse myself. Have I lost focus on what I want. More importantly, do I know what I want? And I think the feeling of letting down the person who offered me B is what I feel bad about. Like I'm useless.

Sigh.